An open list of my defects

I never finish what I start. I don’t even finish the books I read. The last few pages are always left unread.

I panic when someone wants to get close to me and to know me better-even when I’m very fond of that someone. I panic when someone talks of love to me. I panic and run.

It’s hard for me to say “no” and in my willingness to please people I often end up engaged in promises I can not keep.

I’m not very good with people…if at all. My appearance is always forced and no matter how cheerful I might seem on the outside a part of me craves to run away and be alone. I don’t know why; neither I know how to prevent it.

But the most serious of all is that for some reason I take "how it is" and "how it should be" to be one and the same.

Many more to come soon-stay tuned. Or don't.