"You can choose to believe"

Despair is if not an old friend but an old acquaintance at the very least. It’s been around for so long that its presence and comings and goings are no longer a matter I care to pay attention to at all. It became an inseparable part of the picture in a way. But it varies and now and then it shows a face that catches me by surprise. Most of the times it is a stage act inspired by true events-it is experience based but it contains a substantial amount of self-inflicted drama that I usually leave unattended due to either lack of energy or time; or both. But a few days ago in two consecutive days it was different. It wasn’t the familiar “nothing makes sense but a little fire of hope something good might happen still throws a light” type of mood. The darkness was total and for a little while I fully realized nothing made sense and nothing ever would. As if truth pressed me like a giant rock. I saw my future life like a straight line leading nowhere. One of those “why bother walking?” moments.