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I so much wish I could settle for the ordinary. But I can't. The older I get the more I can't.

And that is the drama of my life - because, as an ordinary human being, I don't stand the chance for more than the ordinary. 

There's no drama really. It's the reality and I have accepted it. I am 100 % realistic about how unrealistic my spirit is. I can't change my soul.

But I can't stop wondering: what am I here for? why am I, at all?

And there's just one answer that fits the question: there is no purpose.

Yes, it is a sad thought. That's no news either.