Trapped in time

“My reality resembles a broken vase-no matter how well glued, the crack will always be visible; and all the flowers put in that vase, no matter how pretty, will die because the water will leak through the crack. The vase is broken beyond repair.”

I found this text while cleaning my mail inbox-a draft entry I sent to myself and forgot about it. The trouble is it is dated from over a year ago but it sounds as if it was written yesterday…or 10 years ago.

"Just like you imagined"

Dead-end

I miss the sincerity emotions used to have. The sensation of freshness, the breath of hope. Lately there’s only a feeling of déjà vu.

“I can’t remember how this got started

but I can tell you exactly how it will end.”

Dazed and confused

It’s almost Christmas…and the Christmas spirit is nowhere to be seen. I guess I wasn’t a good girl this year. I don’t mean I put some terrible sins on my account but I could’ve been much better.

Oops, I almost forgot-I did so something terrible this year.

My guess is that just before I die I'll finally become a person with no flaws.

A new remix by z-arc

My friend (is it OK to call him my friend yet? I know how I feel about him but I’m not sure if I’m still his friend) Kris contributed a remix to a musical friend and the remix is fabulous-a fantasia sound scape ala z-arc. Beautiful work.

free download

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Sometimes I find it truly hard to be forgiving and to tolerate other people’s weakness knowing how severe I am to myself.

Eyewitness

My life doesn’t feel real. It’s like studying a language from a book without ever hearing how that language really sounds. It’s like watching pictures taken in a cathedral without ever actually being inside. It gives you a hint but it’s far from the real experience. It feels artificial and shallow.