Saturday 26 September 2015

Over

"Hey now, hey now, don't dream it's over"

Amazing how something with no substance can bring your world down by simply missing from it. It's not whining, it's a fact.

It's over.

P.S. As I was managing this post I noticed the previous post with which I was patting myself on the back for being mentally stronger. Mentally stronger, my ass. Not today. I need to cry my eyes out but now is not the time. I will do it when I get home.

Sunday 20 September 2015

"21 signs you're mentally stronger than average"

I came across this article a few days ago and read it out of curiosity. To my surprise I qualify at all 21 points. OK, for the record: I partially fail at Nr. 4. However, work is far from over because getting to a certain point doesn't mean you can rest; you have to keep on working to remain there.

Of course, this is not some profound statement that will change life as we know it - it's just a bunch of words someone wrote. And yet it got me thinking how different I am now from who I was twenty years ago and the comparison made me feel good.  

I will simply copy-paste the content:

21 signs you're mentally stronger than average


1. You balance emotions with logic.

Mentally strong people understand how their emotions can influence their thinking. In an effort to make the best decisions possible, they balance their emotions with logic.

2. You choose productive behavior.

While it may be tempting to make excuses, complain about other people, and avoid difficult circumstances, mentally strong people refuse to waste time on unproductive activities

3. You feel confident in your ability to adapt to change.

Mentally strong people know that although change is uncomfortable, it's tolerable. They focus their energy on adapting to change, rather than resisting it.

4. You face the fears that hold you back.

While mentally strong people don't need to conquer fears because they have something to prove to others, they do strive to face the fears that hold them back.


5. You learn from your mistakes.

Mentally strong people don't hide or excuse their mistakes. Instead, they learn from them.

6. You balance self-acceptance with self-improvement.

Mentally strong people accept themselves for who they are, while simultaneously recognizing their need for personal development.

7. You genuinely celebrate other people's success.

Mentally strong people cooperate — rather than compete — with those around them. They don't feel as though other people's success somehow diminishes their own achievements.

8. You are comfortable living according to your values.

Mentally strong people make decisions with relative ease because they understand their priorities and they live according to their values.


9. You focus on sharpening your skills, rather than showing them off.

While some people seek validation from others, mentally strong people are less concerned about gaining recognition. Instead, they're intrinsically motivated to become better.

10. You live an authentic life.

Mentally strong people are true to themselves. Their words are in line with their behavior.

11. You view life's hardships as opportunities for growth.

While hardship causes some people to grow bitter, mentally strong people let adversity make them better.

12. Your self-worth depends on who you are, not what you achieve.

Mentally strong people feel good about themselves, whether they win or lose.


13. You practice delayed gratification.

Mentally strong people view their goals as a marathon, not a sprint. They're willing to tolerate short-term pain when it can provide long-term gain.

14. You bounce back from failure.

Mentally strong people don't view failure as the end of the road. Instead, they use their failed attempts as opportunities to gain knowledge that will increase their chances of success in the future.

15. You're a realistic optimist.

Mentally strong people are able to look for the silver lining and think on the bright side, but they don't allow their optimistic tendencies to blind them to reality.

16. You accept personal responsibility for your choices.

Mentally strong people don't needlessly beat themselves up, but they do accept complete responsibility for their actions.

17. You express gratitude.

Rather than exclaim they need more, mentally strong people acknowledge they have more than they need.

18. You focus on what you can control.

Mentally strong people are effective and productive in life because they devote their resources to the things they can control.

19. You engage in active problem-solving.

Mentally strong people don't dwell on the problem — instead, they create solutions.

20. You're open to learning more from all that surrounds you.

Mentally strong people are constantly learning from their circumstances and the people they encounter every day.

21. You work on your weaknesses, rather than masking them.

While many people work hard to disguise their vulnerabilities, mentally strong people invest their energy into improving their shortcomings.


Sunday 13 September 2015

... 464

In order to embrace love you have to give up all hate. Can you do this? It doesn't just happen, it takes practice - it may as well take a lifetime. Love is a necessity, hate is an indulgence; how hard can it be to make the right choice-the choice that is right for everyone, "the greater good" choice?
I can't be the only one. "Where is everybody?"

Sunday 6 September 2015

... 463

That wrinkle that appears on the forehead right between the eyebrows indicating that the mind is troubled? It is trying to make a permanent presence on my forehead. I feel the tension in my skin physically. What am I so troubled by? Nothing... and everything. Nothing in particular - mostly because it's not in my nature to overrank mundane discomforts and I try to spare them just a fleeting attention which is more than they deserve to begin with. However, majority rules, and they just pile up, day after day, tiny insignificant by themselves deaths accumulating into that line between the eyebrows. What doesn't kill you makes you at some point so tired that you wish that it did. Because it is never going to end - that"filling up the hole". Hoping in vain is so exhausting.

Saturday 5 September 2015

... 462

I wonder, will I be happy some day? Like, really happy? Not in a fairy-tale kind of way, not in any specific scenario-shaped way. Happiness is not about what you do, it's about how you feel. So I wonder, will I ever get to that not-looking-back point, will I ever be perfectly in terms with everything in the past? Is that even possible? Could it be that in order to feel happy I just need to forget?