... 436

I'm in the company of three women two of which are pregnant. There's so much talk about urinal problems and cooking classes that I can take. I'd much rather be listening to internet developers talking - I still wouldn't have understood nothing but the topic would've been much more interesting.

Sorry, pregnancy is relevant to me in no way what so ever. It only makes me feel very, very uncomfortable.

... 435

"Without love, without anger, without sorrow, breath is just a clock ticking."

I love Equilibrium. It makes perfect sense to me to dispose of a bunch of men to save a puppy.

... 434

Maturity is not about becoming responsible. It is about losing your illusions. This is sad. Alas! sadness will find you whether you're looking for it or not. This, too, is maturity.

I don't want to let go of my illusions. They make me look younger and unfortunately I'm more than enough old to care a great deal about that.

... 433

From Twitter:

"When you are single, all you see are happy couples."

Funny, and all I see are good reasons to be happy I'm single.

... 432

Looking my best when I leave home takes longer and longer. Vanity is a bitch.

... 431

A very old lady lived upstairs from my apartment. Lived because yesterday I heard she had died a few days ago. That made me sad-I barely knew her but she was sweet. It was my mother who brought the news about that granny's death. My mother knows more about my neighbors that I do and that is no surprise-she is interested in people and I am not, not even slightly. My mother said "Don't be sad. I talked to her recently and she told me she didn't feel like living anymore, that she wanted this to end."

That granny lived alone. I never saw anyone come visit her. Is that why she wanted to let go of her life? Will the same happen to me too in not that long from now? How high a price am I willing to pay to escape a solitary ending?

... 430

Today is International Women's day - whatever that means. OK, I know perfectly well what it means and how it all originated but most of the people either don't or have forgotten. 

Luckily this year March 8th is on Sunday meaning not that many men will receive my notorious "drop dead" look as they say Congratulations!" Hey, they didn't even ask me if I wanted to be born to begin with, let alone what set of chromosomes I wanted to be born with so cut it out and Google "March 8" instead.

No, I am not a feminist. I am a human being that happened to be a woman - one of the two genders available, and being a woman does not define me as a person. Period.

People talk so much but lately all I hear is "blah, blah, blah".

...429

An unbiased look at myself shows me that I am a tough person. I am tolerant to human imperfections but not by nature but by reason. It means that nature tells me to run away and reason stops me from doing so. But just because I'm here doesn't mean I want to be. It only means there's a lot on my mind that will forever remain unsaid. And it also means that I am working on an escape plan.

People say "Don't be afraid to be who you are". Well, the customer is not always right. Sometimes the customer is a complete moron. I don't want to be a moron. Damn, sometimes I feel like I am at the starting point again. 

... 428

Yesterday I took a stroll downtown for the first time in months. There were so many people everywhere, enjoying the beautiful sunny springlike weather, so many people that I couldn't help thinking "There has to be someone for me out there!"

Haven't you noticed that the promise of endless possibilities makes a better reality than reality itself? Happiness is not about getting what you want but about being given something you want when you don't expect it.